Where Parents Go Wrong . . .

Two things parents should never do:

1. Enable their children’s behaviors
I have a friend whose son is 23 years old and still lives at home yet doesn’t have a job. My question is simply, “What does he do for money? How does he get around? Whose food does he eat?” You can imagine the responses I get from mom. As a matter of fact, we don’t talk about it anymore because she doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. That’s her choice. I think you all know what I am thinking. I say what you are thinking but I also do what you won’t. In this situation, I would give him 6 months and that is being kind. Tell him that six months from now I will help you move out. If we don’t teach out kids about responsibility today then they will not know what responsibility is about tomorrow. It’s not tough love. It’s about time the kid knows you want the best for him and by enabling these behaviors you are actually hurting the child.

2. Give their children the power
So many times I see children getting what they want. You say, “No!” but they don’t hear you because they know that eventually they will wear you down and break you from saying, “No.” The other night, I was at a party with friends and their children and some of the children were playing upstairs but little “Johnny (That’s the name we will use so I don’t offend anyone but I will)” wasn’t allowed. Little Johnny didn’t accept that he wasn’t allowed and his mom is a great friend of mine and is a great mom. I watched this as “Little Johnny” came up about three times and asked politely and mom kept saying, “No.” I was really proud of her until . . .

“Little Johnny” came up pouting and wanted to play with the other kids and all of a sudden mom gave in. She looked at me and I looked at her and I said, “I can’t believe you gave in . . .” I have to be careful what and how much I say. Instead of saying “No” from the beginning maybe she should of said, “Yes” if she knew they were at a party and gave him his behavior lecture early.

What happens when you say, “no” and then you give in later with “ok . . .” That child is like a memory bank. He or she will never forget that he finally got what he wanted and then for now on he or she will always know that in the end he or she will win out.

Author:Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Youth Motivational Speaker & Teen Life Coach. Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has been mesmerizing audiences with his engaging style and passion. Jeff is a story-teller that every where he speaks, he guarantees he is real and in the moment, perfect for every audience. He is one of a kind. He's interactive and nobody pours as much energy and passion into their programs that Jeff does. Guaranteed, Jeff will be a defining moment and a highlight of your students lives. www.JeffYalden.com

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