The Wheels on the Bus

People who drive school buses are often too old to drive their own cars. I know, I am speaking from experience. In the past several years I have been on at least a dozen school buses, completely furnished with the best open road operators, Blue Bird buses had to offer.

As I struggled into the first seat I looked up and noticed the RULES of the bus which were only visible from the front seat. After being seated the bus jerked out of the parking lot. I immediately fell to the ground collecting all of my belongings that had just spilled to the floor. The driver was on her way, and I was but a prisoner for what had the potential to be a Giligan’s Island experience.

I like to chat with the drivers, mostly to find out if they know where we are headed. On this day my driver reassured me that she knew a short cut, then she started telling me about her grand children, great grand children, and great great grand children. After hearing about how cute they were and how many she had, I tuned the driver out and began to wonder just exactly where we were headed at a hair raiding 52 MPH.

Most of the geriatric driving enthusiasts that I have had the pleasure of riding with, seem to reject the standard green vinyl seat covers that come standard on most buses. As I often sit in awe and confusion at how my bus driver can maintain enough pressure on the oversized gas peddle, I notice the wood beaded seat cover blanketing the commander’s seat she sits on. The brown and tan balls spin and bounce with every pot hole she hits and the crochet pillow she once had tucked behind her lower back pokes its way through her side. One of my drivers was a Patriots fan and his seat was covered in a lovely blue polyester fur portrait of Tom Brady.

Not much goes unnoticed when you spend the 2 to 3 hours staring at the back of the drivers head. Like why the CB radio is on at all times when the only thing being transmitted is static or some driver filling his mouth with marbles and reciting theArabic alphabet. I have noticed that most elderly men drivers prefer the side part, regardless of how much or how few hairs they have to comb over. Women drivers are much less tolerant of the loud ruckus a bus full of bored teens makes and their hands tremble with hate when not holding the steering wheel. Older drivers come to a complete stop at railroad tracks, open the doors, look both ways, and then always seem to struggle finding first gear.

For the most part my time spent as a passenger riding the yellow super stretch limohas been uneventful. I mean I have never been in a serious accident, and have only been pulled over one time in my entire bus riding career for the antics of two teenagers mooning a cop car from the emergency exit window. I feel somewhat secure bouncing around the back roads and slow lanes in the cigar shaped metal eyesore, even without a seatbelt to secure me. mater. Cars seem to avoid us like the plague and those enormous sloth-like RV’s speed past us. As a passenger perched high above the rest of the commuter traffic, I get to see into other peoples cars like an eagle looking down on his prey.

I have some words of wisdom for those of you who can’t remember the last time you were slumped into a row of green slightly stuffed bus benches; you can grow older and wiser and for some even more sophisticated, but somehow no matter how old, successful, or mature you are, it will always be okay to stick your gum on the underside of your seat cushion when no one is looking.

Author:Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Youth Motivational Speaker & Teen Life Coach. Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has been mesmerizing audiences with his engaging style and passion. Jeff is a story-teller that every where he speaks, he guarantees he is real and in the moment, perfect for every audience. He is one of a kind. He's interactive and nobody pours as much energy and passion into their programs that Jeff does. Guaranteed, Jeff will be a defining moment and a highlight of your students lives. www.JeffYalden.com

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