Because I Said So

In the ever changing culture we live in, teens have acquired new techniques of arguing that can cut to the quick, and can be filled with hostile-sarcasm which is designed to hurt and blame the adults who love them.

Parents with the best of intentions often engage inarguments with teenagers that are in no way constructive. Teens respond to verbal conflicts on purely an emotional level, they have little ability to be reasoned with and therefore form illogical solutions to the problem.

Teenagers argue most when they feel the rules are too stringent. There exists a purgatory where teens hover between adulthood and childhood. We don’t given them credit for being grown ups because they are not grown ups. They are still very much children who are living in a grown up environment.

Listening to your teenager does not necessarily mean agreeing… a successful dialogue does end in your teen talking you into having their way. Remind them that your saying no or not changing your mind does not mean that you are not listening… you have not tuned them out. Allowing teens the freedom of their expressions of their thoughts and feelings is absolutely a good and necessary thing, provided that it is done so in a respectful manner.

The ability to compromise is a communication skill that needs to be taught to teens through repetition on a daily basis. Compromising to avoid an argument is not really teaching your child the value in it, conversely, compromising to allow them to grow has a great deal of value. Here is the most important rule; compromising on safety IS NOT an option… compromising on responsibility IS an option.

Be aware always that there is a distinct difference between normal teenage resentment of authority and acute anger that is indicative of depression. Consult with a professional the moment you are unsure of what type of anger you are witnessing. Parents need to seek out the appropriate help at the appropriate time if anger is controlling your teenager’s life and becoming destructive to his environment.

Author:Jeff Yalden, Youth Motivational Speaker

Youth Motivational Speaker & Teen Life Coach. Since 1992, Jeff Yalden has been mesmerizing audiences with his engaging style and passion. Jeff is a story-teller that every where he speaks, he guarantees he is real and in the moment, perfect for every audience. He is one of a kind. He's interactive and nobody pours as much energy and passion into their programs that Jeff does. Guaranteed, Jeff will be a defining moment and a highlight of your students lives. www.JeffYalden.com

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